How To Love Your Body: What I’ve Learned The Hard Way
Do you struggle with your relationship with your body? Today we’re doing a deep dive into how to love your body and completely transform the way you view yourself.
I am going to be honest, every single person who walks this planet has at least one thing they are insecure about when it comes to their body. That’s natural, it’s normal, no one is perfect.
However, when the internal dialogue resembles a daily war of words between your mind and body, that’s when it becomes devastating. Our bodies are so innately beautiful, magical, and helpful. They supply wisdom and intuition, they work automatically while we sleep, and they carry our souls through this wondrous adventure called life.
And yet, we are told they are not perfect by big companies who make billions off our insecurities for being human. Between the diet culture, the limited sizing, the beauty industry, the plastic and cosmetic surgery trends, the laser hair removals and whatever else we have infiltrating our minds daily — we start to understand the tug of war on how we view ourselves.
In this article, let’s refresh and take a deep dive into how to love your body. As it is, right in this moment. Let’s also take a moment to define what beauty means to you, what’s truly important, and how to change the internal dialogue.
I highly recommend my affirmation deck for body love as you move through this self love and body positivity journey.
How To Love Your Body
When someone feels confident in their body, their internal dialogue plays a crucial role in reinforcing and maintaining that positive self-image. That internal dialogue then sparks daily actions that reflect self love, self acceptance, and self appreciation. If you are new here, you’ll find out I often say “You cannot change the external world, without first changing the internal dialogue.” Otherwise it’s an uphill battle, that often results in different paths to the same crummy destinations. So how do we begin to cultivate that shift?
Positive Affirmations
The first place to start is with affirmations. Engaging in the practice of positive self-talk by using affirmations that reinforce body acceptance and self love, we begin to reprogram the subconscious mind. I have a whole article about that here. From a neuroscience perspective, affirmations create new neaural pathways for new experiences to occur. From a quantum mechanics perspective, we as observers have a massive influence on the outcome of our lives depending on how we view ourselves — which makes affirmations crucial instruments for change. From a holistic perspecitive, change is often best done when love is present. From the perspective of our nervous system, affirmations help bring us out of the fight-or-flight-high-beta-brain-survival-mode and into a state where we can naturally heal ourselves.
Affirmations are crucial.
Repeat statements such as, “I am comfortable in my skin,” “My body is a sacred sanctuary for my soul,” or “I radiate beauty and self-assurance.” All of these affirmations and more can be found in my Body Love Affirmations Pack, which I HIGHLY recommend downloading to use each day.
Gratitude and Appreciation
Our bodies do so much for us every single day. Our brains compute information quickly, our body moves automatically, we can breathe, we can taste food, our hearts pump nutrient rich blood through our bodies without thinking about.
Express gratitude for your body’s capabilities and strengths. Acknowledge and appreciate the things your body allows you to do and the journey it has taken you on. As a suggestions, write down three things you are grateful for regarding your body for the next 30 days, see what happens!
Understand your body is natural
Stretchmarks are natural, body hair is natural, pores are natural, acne is natural, cellulite is natural, not being symmetrical is natural. Big companies have made billions off of telling people they shouldn’t look natural. We’ve adopted those ideals and standards, but we can also let them go.
Go inward and really ask yourself: how do I want to look, sans limitations and standards? What makes me the happiest and feel the most authentic? The answers might surprise you.
Focus on Inner Qualities
While body confidence includes acceptance and appreciation of our physical appearance, it is essential to recognize that true confidence extends beyond external attributes. Take a moment to emphasize your inner qualities, such as kindness, intelligence, resilience, or compassion, and remind yourself that these qualities contribute to your overall beauty.
Have you ever seen someone who is traditionally beautiful but you didn’t find them attractive? You’re picking up their energy. Your inner world shines through and magnifies your physical attractiveness. Write a list of your inner qualities that make you feel super delicious about yourself. Place that list somewhere you can see it everyday as a gentle reminder of how gorgeous you truly are.
Cultivate Self-Compassion
Treat yourself as you would treat a dear friend or loved one. Instead of criticizing or berating yourself, offer words of encouragement, support, and self-love. We learn the best when we are loved and have room for growth. If you need help with self compassion, check out this article here.
Embrace Individuality
We are not all meant to look alike. It would be really bizarre if we did. Recognize and celebrate your unique body shape, size, and features. Remind yourself that diversity is beautiful and that there is no single definition of beauty.
Focus on Health Instead Of Perfection
Shift the focus from appearance to overall health and well-being. How are you feeling physically? Speak to yourself in terms of nourishment and taking care of your body. Use language that highlights the importance of self-care, balanced nutrition, regular exercise, and restful sleep. This shift will bring out a totally different appreciation for your body, and highlight the more important element – your health. Health is wealth.
Surround Yourself with Positivity
I cannot stress this one enough. Who you surround yourself with, you become. Let me say that one more time. Who you associate with, spend time with, engage with on social media, you energetically, emotionally and physically gravitate to their level. I have seen this time and again in my own life where I thought “oh I don’t need to cut that person out, it’s not impacting me that much.” Oh child! The moment I let go, I shot up like a rocket to an entirely new level of success and abundance.
Surround yourself with positive influences. And you can tell when someone truly loves themselves because you will feel wonderful in their presence.
Practice Self-Care
Nurture your body through self-care rituals that prioritize well-being. This is essential! There are numerous benefits for self care, but to name the top one – it showers your entire essences with love and kindness. Which you deserve, and it teaches the world how you expect to be treated.
Engage in activities that make you feel nourished and loved, such as taking relaxing baths, getting massages, practicing gentle movement like yoga or stretching, or indulging in hobbies that bring you joy. Treat your body with care and respect, honoring its needs for rest and boundaries.
Get inspired with a list of the best self care for women here.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Become aware of negative self-talk and challenge it. Whenever you catch yourself criticizing or putting your body down, counter those thoughts with positive affirmations. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, reminding yourself that your worth is not tied to your appearance.
If you have time, sit down and journal about those negative thoughts and trace it back to its origin. What happened? What still needs to heal? What still hurts? How can you love yourself through the process?
Humanize your body
I love this one influencer who spoke on this. She made her body very human and saw it as if it were a girl she loves and takes care of. When we can see it from that perspective, it’s incredible how many of our insecurities go right out the window. We would never say half the things we tell our bodies to a child. Which means, they aren’t right to say in the first place.
Daily Mirror Work
Saying “I love you” to yourself in the mirror is one of the most challenging yet healing exercises we can do consistently. It feels uncomfortable, we have a lot of judgment, but over time, it’s a beautiful exercise that brings a ton of emotions to the surface. Stay with it long enough to see the transformation unfold.
Allow Yourself to be Seen
When we hide our shame or insecurities, it almost makes it twice as painful. We are confirming to ourselves, “there’s something wrong with me.”
In a way that feels safe and comfortable for you, come out of the cave of isolation. Express your fears in a safe space. Talk to someone you trust, or seek professional help. Or try something that allows you to release the insecurities. For instance, if you are afraid of what others might say about how you look in a bikini, try going out in a one-piece and then work your way up. Focus your attention on the act of swimming, lounging, and the views of the beach or pool. Your mind will forget all about what others are thinking. If anyone does say something, it’s their own projections of their own insecurities and self hatred. It has nothing to do with you.
Quit comparing yourself to others
Nothing hurts more than when we hurt our own feelings. The reality is, no one is “perfect” even if you think they are. Comparing yourself to someone else in a way that exacerbates your insecurities, is like adding gasoline to a fire. Why do it?
No seriously, why are you comparing yourself and when did this start? What first made you think to compare yourself? And how has it helped in the past and how has it hurt? Take some time to reflect and understand the nature behind the comparison. If it is needing love or approval, then wonderful! You are now able to give that love to yourself. Self love is the best source of love.
Remember, learning how to love your body is a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and practice speaking to yourself in a way that fosters self-love and acceptance.
